I facilitate self-worth workshops for women in recovery, and one of the most important topics we cover is self-worth.
As women, we learn from a young age to hate parts of ourselves. We may be told things by family, friends, or the media which influence how we view our bodies, our relationships, and our value. It’s not always malicious, but the more often we hear things like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” or “if he’s mean to you it’s because he likes you,” the more our brains internalise this information as fact. When our subconscious minds start to believe these things, we start to act in ways that align with them. We may restrict our food, engage in damaging relationships, and forget to take care of our bodies.
In cognitive behavioural therapy, they teach that the three factors which make up the emotional experience are:
Thoughts
Feelings
Behaviours
These three factors form a cycle, with each influencing the other. For example, having the thought “I am fat” creates a feeling, such as shame or sadness, which influences a behaviour, like restricting food intake. This cycle continues until a person is able to intervene at one of the factors.
It is pretty difficult to control your feelings, and thoughts can spontaneously arise. So, the easiest place to jump into the cycle to make a change is through behaviour.
Enter: yoga.
Yoga is a practice of both the body and mind, which has been around for thousands of years. What we know as yoga in popular society is generally the yoga asana - the poses and physical practice of yoga. These asana are intended to balance strength and surrender, to prepare the mind for meditation through a moving practice. A teacher of mine told me that the intention of a flowing practice is to be difficult enough that your mind cannot wander from the present moment, but not so difficult that you are not able to find that meditative state of mind as you tune into your breath and movements.
For someone who is looking to change their emotional experience, creating the behaviour of practicing yoga can start to influence the thoughts and feelings that arise. Practicing yoga is an opportunity to give your body rest, treat it well, and show it that you think it is worthy of care, even if you don’t believe that right now. Showing up week after week, spending an hour existing in the present moment, and nourishing your body through a yoga practice will start to change the way you think and feel.
No one is perfect, and we all need a little reminder that we are worthy of care. I hope to see you on the mat soon.
